What I’ve Figured Out

There are a few things that I have figured out how to do and I appreciate these things because they help me realize I am grown up. Sometimes I forget.

1. I’ve learned to use my kitchen, cooking food that I love.

I am very happy to spend time in my kitchen. I think about the movie Julie + Julia where she says something about having a long and terrible day but knowing that when she comes home, if she mixes egg yolks, cocoa and sugar…it will get thick. Basically saying that all day long she has absolutely no control, but when she comes home, she can cook and feel productive and in control. I can really relate.

2. I’ve got amazing relationships.

My husband, my sisters and my friends are my rocks without whom I could barely get out of bed in the morning. Early on I learned to value relationships. I always had a best friend, and if s/he moved away, we’d remain pen-pals. One friend, Mandy, moved to Minnesota after kindergarten and we wrote letters until well after high school. The trouble is, her last name was Moore, ya, Mandy Moore, like the artist, but not the same person so the ‘real’ one has been hard to find on FB. We’ve lost touch and I still think about it at 30. The point is, I have come to realize that my relationships are what make me who I am, and who I have yet to be.

3. I love travel, but I am not that good at it

I’ve figured out that while I do hope to travel and see as much of the world as I can, I am not the best ‘traveler’. I get anxiety on planes, I don’t like to pack light, I get nervous asking locals for help, especially in Spanish, and I get tired so fast while on the move. So I suppose it will always be a tug of war. I’ll never not want to visit other cultures and see how others live, I’ll just have to take more time planning, and perhaps be a bit of a pain to those I travel with. I am pretty nervous and excited for my trip to India alone this fall…eek!

4. I am organized

My home, my work space, my calendar etc. tend to be fairly organized. I suppose one exception is my finances. I drive Kristopher nuts by getting sucked into reorg projects. I think the reason I like doing it is the satisfaction of progress I feel after (kind of like the cooking thing).

5. I am a good worker

In the workplace, I work hard and am trusted by my peers, colleagues and those above me. I like that working where I am now has routinely provided opportunity for advancement, even though it hasn’t been financially advantageous yet, I am hopeful that eventually, it will be. I certainly have some student loans to pay off.

Here are the things I have figured out that I am not that good at. I guess I am ok with it because it gives me things to work on now.

1. I am perpetually late on fashion

When scarves came into fashion, they took me a while. Boots, skinny jeans, patterns, curling my hair, wearing jewelry, and so on…have all been about two seasons behind. I am also a bit hypocritical when it comes to fashion. I would say things like, “why are they wearing boots with a skirt? So dumb” or “Skinny Jeans, really?!” and here I am, rockin that stuff like I always loved it. On the plus side, I am usually able to find stuff I like at thrift stores because the trends have already cycled through the donations.

2. I’m anxious

I don’t tend to get anxious in the same ways as others. Sure I sometimes suffer in a social situation, but that is not the part I find to be the most annoying. I get anxious during extremely busy times for things that are exciting. I’ll explain. The most recent example was our dining room remodel. I planned for Mother’s Day high tea in the room, well, we barely finished the room in time. All along the way, I was literally freaking out. Yelling at Kris more than I should, panicking, worrying, all more than was necessary. And for what? Like my family was going to disown me for not finishing the room. I don’t do this with work, and in many cases, there is high pressure along with high volume but I am able to cope. I hate it.

3. I don’t exercise when in a relationship

And…now that I am married, I am up a creek! I’ve got to get back to it! I’ve become good at eating well, just not the full on “being” well. The following things seem to take priority over paying a visit to the gym, or going for a run: sleeping, eating, shopping, TV, socializing, blogging, cleaning the house, and literally anything else. So…. ya.

4. I am not that great with money

Sometimes, when I lose track of things, I spend more than I make. My salary would have been great 10 years ago, but everything is so darn expensive that everything that comes in goes strait back out. I am thankful to share expenses with a partner.

Well, that is all for now.